


Broken up, but not broken

by Metalqueen



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, F/F, Kind of happy ending, Post-Break Up, Sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 16:59:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17708171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Metalqueen/pseuds/Metalqueen
Summary: This is a short story of Arwen handling the break-up with Cait.





	Broken up, but not broken

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> I'm finally back to writing after months of sick leave because of depression and anxiety. Also, my girlfriend broke up with me and life is weird. I'm feeling better now though and am finally on track again. Hopefully I'll keep this up and be able to update more. Take care and I hope you'll enjoy the angst that is this work.

Cait, wonderful Cait. Why did they grow apart? The love of Arwen’s life, why didn’t she return it anymore? Return the love that she knew she still had for her. That wasn’t like her. Cait had been hiding feelings before, but acting like a robot? Something was off and Arwen knew it. They had known each other for three years now. It had been three years since they started their long journey together. Started as friends, becoming lovers and ending in a massive heart break.

  
Arwen was standing guard by the Red rocket truck stop while thinking about her former partner. Her sniper rifle in hand, ready for anything the world would throw at her. Except that she wasn’t. Her thoughts of red hair, freckles and green eyes were terrifyingly distracting. That slim, muscled and perfect body didn’t help either. Nor the charming accent and her perfect ass that was just so nice to squeeze and have next to her while being the big spoon in bed.

  
Is she seeing super mutants further ahead or is she imagining? She would rather fight them than her own feelings anyway. She had been in love before. Been ditched before. Prepared for anything but this. They had been so close, shared everything. Cait knew all about Arwen’s likes and dislikes in life as well as in bed. Arwen thought she knew the all about Cait.

  
Her eyes darting between a couple of big trees while remembering how she had been rough on Cait in bed, telling her what to do. She was surprisingly good at being a submissive. Doing everything Arwen wanted, because that was what she wanted. The trust between them had been deep and they had respected each other in every single way. Why the trees reminded her of that was a mystery.

  
Where did they go wrong? Arwen looked down at her shiny rifle. It had been polished more than once the last half an hour or so. Nothing weird being seen around her. Sighing, she flung her rifle over her shoulder and pulled out her handgun. Right, also newly polished. Looking around, the residents kept about their lives, taking care of agriculture, animals, trading, water, making weapons and food. Everything a society needed. There were a couple of other people standing guard, fully aware of their surroundings. The machine gun turrets buzzing as they were looking for targets.

  
This was a part of the big trade route that Arwen helped start up, with Cait. They had helped re-colonizing most of the area and this was where the perfect road was. From Sanctuary to red rocket and beyond. They had been everywhere together. Helping people with anything from killing raiders to rescuing people from animals and what not. Cait’s gorgeous smile as she looked back at her lover when she had done something good, instantly hit Arwen. The fact that Cait were somewhere else entirely was painful. More so than she could’ve foreseen.

  
Had she ever felt this blue before? Probably not. Then she remembered that her hair was blue, at least it was matching her mood.

  
Some villager that she just met came over and offered to take over. Arwen didn’t hesitate, she just thanked them. After that she went to the nearest tree to sit down with her back against it, to stare at her feet. One of her new favorite things to do. That and wallowing in her own misery.

 

_“I don’t feel the same anymore. I promise, I’ve tried.” Cait looked at her with a neutral expression on her face._  
_Something Arwen had come to know the last couple of months. No sign of emotions from her partner. Tears building up inside the blue haired, trying to deny them but they still spilled freely from her eyes._  
_“You can’t be serious honey, we’ve been through so much together.”_  
_“It’s not fair to you. I don’t love you anymore.”_  
_“What has happened? What did I do wrong?”_  
_“It’s not you. I just can’t do this anymore. We’ll do better without each other.”_  
_She turned on her heels and left her sobbing outside the entrance of Diamond city. The guards had heard their conversation but pretended like they hadn’t. That was the day when Arwen’s heart took the fatal blow. When the woman she had discussed a future with, just disappeared from her life._

 

“Hey, are you okay?” Piper came walking with two Nuka Colas in her hands.

  
“No, I don’t know when I will be.”

  
“You deserve happiness, she was drama waiting to happen. Don’t think she could really leave the drugs behind.”

  
The short woman in a red jacket and a press cap sat down next to her friend while handing her an ice-cold beverage. Which was good news, because that meant Sturges had been able to make the old fridge they had found, to work again.

  
“Why do you disturb my troubled mind?”

  
“You looked like you were somewhere else entirely. Also, I’m scared you might do something stupid. I know how much you loved her.”

  
For the first time in years, Arwen looked at her friend. Really scrutinized her face. Piper was looking torn. The always positive woman with loads of attitude and big heart seemed like she had faced off with ten death claws at once.

  
“I’m not sure I want to be here anymore Piper.”

  
“There must be a reason you got frozen down to get thawed out years later.”

  
“Most people I’ve known are dead. Or has left me.”

  
The journalist put her head on the taller woman’s shoulder. Making her friend relax a bit more. Suddenly realizing how tensed she had been in every muscle lately. Ever since that day, one week ago now.

  
“Not everyone has left you.” Piper handed Arwen her own bottle and the woman opened both with her hands. “Not me.”

  
“You’re right.”

  
Arwen attempted a smile at her pal, most likely looking like she was constipated or something. Why was grinning so hard nowadays? Only to see hazel eyes peering back at her with hope. They cheered before taking a sip. Perfectly cold Cola filling up Arwen’s body, the sugariness making her forget the world for a bit. There was still some sweetness in this world.

  
They sat there for a while, drinking, talking. Arwen didn’t recollect anything from their conversation. She still had Cait’s eyes in her head. Her goofy behavior when around her. The feel of her gentle touch against the skin. When finished with their drinks, Piper said she had to go check Nat and would bring Nick Valentine along for the road. It was a dangerous walk, but Arwen was barely able to say goodbye and good luck.  
The darkness was closing in on her, eating her up from inside out. Telling her that she was not worthy of love. That Cait had found someone better in every way. More romantic, funnier, smarter, better in bed.

“I don’t deserve love. I seriously don’t.”

  
Arwen was punishing herself for falling in love, for opening up to someone. She thought that she should never do that again. Love was a weakness and she had to pull through. What did she have to live for anyway?  
As she rose she saw a letter fall out of her jeans pocket. The handwriting was very neat. There was only one person with such good penmanship. Piper.

 

**_“Dear Blue, I know you’re upset and broken. Though you’re not entirely broken, you will rise like a Phoenix, just like you’ve done before. Cait wasn’t worthy of you. You’re too good for her. You deserve someone who stays. You have loads of things to live for. There are hundreds of people alive thanks to you. I promise to come back soon. Love Piper”_ **

 

Blinking dumbly at the letter, her heart started pounding again. More with pride this time. Piper was right. She had loads of things to live for. Arwen had an entire world to save and she had friends by her side. Love from friends could be much better than that from a lover. She had broken up with Cait, but she wasn't broken.


End file.
